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5th Elm Coffee House

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75% say Yum
4 people voted
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326 Shelden Ave
Houghton, MI 49931 (Map & Directions)
Phone: (906) 483-2294

75% say Yum
4 people voted
Add your Vote!

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Restaurant Description

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Hours: Add Hours

Delivery
No

Payment
Accepts Credit Cards

Attire
Casual

Alcohol

Price Point
$ $ - Cheap Eats (Under $10)
$$ - Moderate ($11-$25)
$$$ - Expensive ($25-$50)
$$$$ - Very Pricey (Over $50)

WiFi
No

Parking
Yes

Good for Kids

Reservations

Outdoor Seats

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Reviews of 5th Elm Coffee House

This place SUCKS! posted on 02/15/2014

review_stars
I rarely ever review businesses, but after today's horrible experience I feel compelled to spread the word about how much this place BLOWS. What a horrible business. I used to stop by on occasion, but didn't really come around often for several reasons. One, they close at 6 PM. Two, pretty much ALL they serve is coffee. Three, their internet is slow as hell. Four, it's mostly staffed by hipster types who can be somewhat rude and dismissive. Fifth, many of the seats don't have nearby power outlets. Sixth, the place is like a big concrete echo chamber that gets loud as hell when it's crowded. Seven, the seating is not very comfortable. Eight, every time the outside door opens it lets in a big draft of cold air, which sucks for anyone sitting nearby. Overall it's just not a very welcoming place to be. <br /> <br /> Still, I did like to stop by on occasion just to have a different place to hang out. I like to grab a burger from McDs then go somewhere to sit and eat while browsing the internet for a while....but after today I'll NEVER be back to 5th and Elm. This old a$$hole (the owner, I presume) came by and had the nerve to tell me I'm not allowed to bring in any outside food or drink. I'm like, are you kidding me? I asked him if they sold hamburgers? "No." Well then what's the problem? He said he's seen me come in three times and only buy a yogurt and a pop, and "sit there for hours." I guess he's spent a lot of time watching me and what I do....but has apparently failed to learn anything useful from it.<br /> <br /> Every time I've gone in there (or anywhere) I buy AT LEAST one or two things, just because I'm the type of guy who doesn't like to take advantage of folks. I'm not a freeloader; in fact I'm an entrepreneur who knows very well what it takes to run a successful business. If this guy was smart he'd be trying to learn from me (the customer!) instead of running me off. If they just had a decent selection of soft drinks, I'd have been in there a lot more often, spending a lot more money. But they only have like three different kinds of soft drink...seriously?...and they charge $1.50 for a damn 12 oz can! And they wonder why the hell I hardly ever bought one? <br /> <br /> Just a short walk down the street is another coffee shop that's open to 11 PM every day, with more comfortable seating, a huge selection of different kinds of drinks besides just coffee, blazing fast internet....and it's staffed by friendly, smiling faces! I've been in there almost daily for a couple years. They love to see me and definitely seem appreciative of having my business! This guy, on the other hand got rude as hell with me, lecturing me over a damn hamburger, so I started to get upset and said I wouldn't be back. So he increased his rudeness and it ended up with us cussing each other out, and me leaving the place pissed off vowing never to return, with him saying if I did he'd kick me out! Un-f-cking-believable what a douchebag this guy was.<br /> <br /> 5th and Elm is a textbook example of how NOT to run a business! I suggest anyone who is looking to be treated like a customer rather than a gold mine, to find another more welcoming place to relax and spend time. Cyberia Cafe certainly has its flaws, but I'd take ten of them over one of this place ANY day.

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