Soup Nazi Kitchen

• NO SOUP FOR YOU!
• Bizzarro Beef Stew $7.00
• Beef meatballs or well marbled chuck (our choice), seasonal veggies, lentils, and slow-cooked curry bone broth. Bizarre and good.

• Helen's Chicken Or The Egg? $6.00
• Which came first, which came first? Free range chicken, poached egg, potatoes, carrots, lentil, curry broth. What Jerry often had while growing up.

• Estelle's Curry Lentil Soup $6.00
• Veggie curry broth, lentils, carrots, potatoes, and celery. Estelle's secret recipe.

• 16 Oz. Spicy Vegan Chili $6.00
• Plant protein, red and pinto beans, tomato, bell pepper, chili.

• Steinbrenner's Salmon Stew $7.00
• Wild salmon, seasonal veggies, slow cooked bone broth.

• Seinfeld's Leftovers
• The "bro" Pot Roast $10.00
• Well marbled slow cooked chuck served with coconut mashed potatoes, curry brown rice and beans, and seasonal veggies. A favorite of Seinfeld Bros.

• Frank's Italian Beef Meatball Meal $10.00
• Italian beef meatballs, coconut mashed potatoes, seasonal veggies, brown rice and beans. Frank's favorite, Estelle makes this to keep him calm and happy.

• Morty's Seasoned Chicken Meal $8.00
• House seasoned free range chicken, curry brown rice and beans, coconut mashed potatoes, and seasonal veggies. A Jewish favorite.

• Susan's Salmon Meal $10.00
• Includes curry brown rice and beans, coconut mashed potatoes, at least three seasonal veggies, and 5-6 oz salmon. This was Susan's last meal before she died.

• Vegan Sausage Meal $9.00
• Three vegan sausage patties on coconut mashed potatoes, curry rice and beans, and at least 3 seasonal veggies.

• Sponge Worthy Snacks
• Kale Chips $4.00
• Baked kale, olive oil, cracked pepper, and sea salt. Salty and savory.

• Yam Chips $4.00
• Slow baked, olive oil, sea salt.

• Dark Chocolate Coated Almonds $4.00
• 8 oz. container. Sweet and crunchy.

• Uncured Landjaeger Beef Stick $3.00
• No nitrites or nitrates added is why it's sponge worthy.

• Chicken Liver Pate $5.00
• If the Soup Nazi were French. Chicken liver pate made w/capers, wood ear mushrooms, coconut milk, cumin. Includes crackers to spread on.

• Lindt's Sea Salt Dark Chocolate $5.00
• 75% cacao, bittersweet. Good for erections, in case you're sponge worthy.

• Perfect Bars $3.00
• Peanut butter protein bars. No preservatives.

• Weirder than the "Bubble Boy"
• The Cocksucker $5.00
• Formerly known as Pineapple Penises. Pineapples shaped like cock. Cock that tastes like pineapple! Either way, you'll enjoy sucking on and biting them. Imagine Kramer's reaction when you give him one. How would Elaine suck on them?

• Broken Hearts $4.00
• Pineapples shaped like hearts, dipped in beet and ginger juice. Spicy and sweet, like Elaine. 8oz.

• T-shirt $19.00
• You know you want to wear this at an Antifa rally. 100% cotton, unisex. 6'0" , 170 lb male = large.

• Monk's Cafe Desserts
• Vanilla Almond Bar Ice Cream $3.00
• Vanilla inside.

• Black Bean Brownie $4.00
• Vegan and gluten-free, tastes just like conventional brownie. George likes it.

• Raw Carrot Cake $3.00
• Sounds gross but it's not. Raw carrot fiber bonded with raw honey, topped with ginger-lemon-almond frosting. Elaine would buy this and eat it while naked.

• Pint Of Chocolate Ice Cream $5.00
• Ice cream for dessert.

• Yada Yada Salads
• 16 Oz. Seasonal Fruit $4.00
• Pineapple and other seasonal fruit in a cup.

• The Newman (curry Chickpea Salad) $3.00
• Chickpeas, tomato, cucumber, curry dressing

• Beet Salad $3.30
• Pickled beets, walnuts, parmesan. Sweet and sour.

• Ginger Chicken Salad $8.00
• Filling salad made with kale, chickpeas, chicken, pineapple, pumpkin seeds, hemp seeds, carrot, and house made miso dressing.

• These Pretzels are Making Me Thirsty!
• The Peterman (berries) $8.00
• Pineapple, berries, orange, banana.

• Serenity Now ! (gm) $8.00
• Will this drink help you calm the fuck down? Kale , apple, pineapple, mango, orange, banana, almond milk.

• The Dingo Ate Your Baby (tbb) $8.00
• Drink this to free your inner bitch, to be just like Elaine. Pineapple, mango, banana, orange.

• Jackie Chile's Coconut Smoothie $10.00
• Hacked in house young Thai coconut, juice and meat, a touch of banana and mango blended together. Not from bottle or frozen, this is fresh, how Jackie Chile likes it before trial.

• The Soup Nazi's Bookshelf
• How To Cook Like A Racist In The Age Of Identity Politics $10.00
• The Soup Nazi's collection of some of his recipes and the twisted thoughts behind them. The recipes cure weewee malfunctionitis, dumbfuckingitis, and heroin addiction. This book is so offensive that it was once banned on Amazon. Be prepared to be triggered.

• How To Eat Like An Asshole $12.00
• Find out if you piss off the Soup Nazi. This book explains why what's typically considered as elegant and graceful, as good manners and fine taste, are actually signs of stupidity and depravity. You'll also learn how to eat soup the correct way, instead of the asshole way.

• Juice Nazi Seeks Head Of Secret Police $10.00
• Explore the sick, twisted mind of The Soup Nazi. What is he thinking about when he's making soup, taking a shit, and doing the in-out, in-out? The answers will shock and surprise you.

• Good Fucking Manners: An Etiquette Book For Misanthropes And Success $10.00
• Do you treat everyone with equal amounts of respect? Should you treat everyone with equal amounts of respect? If your answers are "no," read on. Do you have good manners, or good fucking manners? Have you ever thought that the manners you were taught are fucktarded? Do you not trust polite people? Wonder if there's a correct way to be mean? Want to remake yourself into a paragon of efficiency, transparency, and good fucking manners? Then this is the etiquette book for you! The Soup Nazi and his Head of Secret Police, Roxanne G., are back, angrier than ever and ready to impose their will on dipshits who oppose them.

• I'm Just Not That Kind Of Girl: A Sadistic Basic Bitch Story $10.00
• Foodie porn novel you can read while you eat! Roxanne G. is trying to get her boyfriend -- Dummy Boy -- to tattoo her name on his penis. He doesn't want to do that. So Roxanne uses her womanly wiles to train Dummy Boy to do what he doesn't want to do -- go to a bookstore and hot yoga, eat sushi and dim sum, attend a symphony and bookreading...until he finally agrees to get the tattoo. She dumps him after he gets it, leaving him distraught and suicidal. Read this misandristic story to find out if Dummy Boy survives to show his penis to another woman.

• The Master of Your Domain Juices
• Queen Of The Castle $8.00
• Elaine's favorite. Pineapple and carrot. 24 oz, over ice. Sweet and refreshing, the opposite of Elaine's personality.

• King Of The County $8.00
• George's favorite: Kale, apple, ginger, celery, lemon.

• Lord Of The Manor $8.00
• Beets, ginger, apple, celery, carrot, kale. Seinfeld's favorite.

• Festivus Detox Shots $5.00
• Double turmeric-ginger. What Kramer drinks after one of his nights out. Trust him, you'll feel better.

• Curses and Blessings
• Newman's Curse $1.00
• Wonder what Newman's thinking when he gives Jerry the stink eye? Order this to find out how evil Newman is.

• Puddy's Blessing $1.00
• Blessing from Puddy so you go to heaven with him, and without Elaine cause she's a heathen.