Reviews for Alley Cats

05/20/2015 - Mayor Norm Archibald
"Alley Cats" is the coolest place for the coolest cats in Abilene. FINALLY, a home for all those stray cats you find in all those alleys. For years I had been bringing back dozens, even hundreds of cats a day to stay in my manor with me. But to be quite honest, I'm in a little over my head! I mean, I've been mayor for over 20 years. And not a SINGLE day has gone by where I haven't scooped up at least one cat off the street or out of a Burger King dumpster. Now this might not be a problem if some of them had passed away by now. But no. Literally every single cat I've collected is in perfect health. It is almost statistically impossible. To date, I've filled my home with 64,910 cats. And not a single one has left. Now you might think I could just get rid of them by selling them in waves somehow, or maybe even one-by-one as a full time job. But no. They block me from leaving the house. They literally fill the halls. They drive my grandkids to school, cook my dinner for me (make me eat veggies instead of gogurt), and do my taxes. CORRECTLY? Who knows. I haven't seen another human in 4 and 1/2 months. I know I got myself into this mess, but this is probably the last message I get out before I am crushed by the sheer weight of tens of thousands of moving, scratching cat bodies on top of me. PLEASE. DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID AND KEEP THOUSANDS OF CATS IN YOUR OWN HOME. AND SEND HELP.

05/20/2015 - Micah Reeves
"Alley Cats" is the coolest place for the coolest cats in Abilene. FINALLY, a home for all those stray cats you find in all those alleys. For years I had been bringing back dozens, even hundreds of cats a day to stay in my house with me. But to be quite honest, I'm in a little over my head! I mean, I've lived here for over 15 years. And not a SINGLE day has gone by where I haven't scooped up at least one cat off the street or out of a Burger King dumpster. Now this might not be a problem if some of them had passed away by now. But no. Literally every single cat I've collected is in perfect health. It is almost statistically impossible. To date, I've filled my home with 64,910 cats. And not a single one has left. Now you might think I could just get rid of them by selling them in waves somehow, or maybe even one-by-one as a full time job. But no. They block me from leaving the house. They literally fill the halls. They drive my grandkids to school, cook my dinner for me (make me eat veggies instead of gogurt), and do my taxes. CORRECTLY? Who knows. I haven't seen another human in 4 and 1/2 months. I know I got myself into this mess, but this is probably the last message I get out before I am crushed by the sheer weight of tens of thousands of moving, scratching cat bodies on top of me. PLEASE. DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID AND KEEP THOUSANDS OF CATS IN YOUR OWN HOME. AND SEND HELP.