Delivery
No
Payment
Credit Cards Accepted
Parking
Valet, Parking Lot
Good for Kids
Yes
Attire
Casual
Alcohol
Yes - Full Bar
Reservations
Yes
Is this your restaurant? Click to add your description here.
03/14/2024 - MenuPix User
12/18/2023 - MenuPix User
05/21/2013 - John g
I had a very interesting visit to the Harbor Crab Company. Having recently separated from my girlfriend, for reasons which I will not divulge, I decided to take a first date to the "Crab". She's not really my type, but her online profile stated that she liked seafood; I have heard so many great things about the Crab that I decided that it would be the most impressive location to take a seafood lover. I arrived first and sat at the bar near the boat. The bartender lacked a personality but made a damn good Jack on the rocks. When my date arrived, a courteous hostess guided us onto the boat for our dinner.
We sat upstairs which gave us a great view of the river, although most of my time was spent looking into the eyes of my new found flame. The waiter was very nice and complimented my shirt, which made my self esteem balloon during this, a first date. I unbuttoned my collar to accentuate my chest and ordered the seafood spinach dip for an appetizer. I had seen someone eating it at the bar while I was waiting and it looked delicious.
It was at this moment when disaster struck. My ex-girlfriend walked in with a new suitor. AWKWARD! It really floored me because I had suggested we come here numerous times and she had always rebuffed my requests. Now, after years of denying my personal happiness, she was here, with some guy, that I know she barely knew, acting the part of the happy go lucky date. As fate had it, their table was situated adjacent to mine, allowing me to see exactly what was going on during their dinner, not that I was interested, my new date had plenty to talk about like her feelings and stuff.
We had ordered waters to drink but then I noticed that my ex had ordered a pitcher of red sangria. She knows that I love sangria, so I was almost positive that she did it just to spite me, trust me, by now she had noticed my presence. I was not going to be outdone, so I ordered a pitcher of red sangria for my date and I as well. Not that I was looking, but she seemed to be savoring each sip, teasing me with the way her lipstick stuck the the glass so sensually. There was no need to act, because the sangria was amazing, but I kept making audible sighs to make sure, that she knew that I was enjoying the sangria more than she was. Remember, she's crazy.
Our dip arrived in a timely fashion and the waiter asked if everything was going well, like I said, he was an excellent server and I secretly hoped that my ex had someone less experienced, although her waitress seemed to be conversing regularly with her. It killed me everytime she laughed at one of her dates jokes, she had no sense of humor and always frowned upon "acting like a laughing fool" in publc. Yet here she was, cackling like a hen at what I am sure was nothing more than nervous, early date drivel. Again, I made sure that my ex saw how much I was enjoying the crab dip and red sangria.
As time passed I decided to order another pitcher of red sangria because my ex seemed to be having such a good time. My date mentioned something about having to drive but she was droned out by the ridiculous giggles of my ex. There was no way that she was going to ruin my first date by having a better time than me.
When our dinners arrived I was certain that my date would be better. I had ordered the lobster bake, which was a whole lobster smothered in clams, shrimp and mussels. The plate was enormous! I was the envy of the dining room with my feast fit for a king, I had forgotten what my date had ordered but was surprised when a prime rib arrived. I thought she was a seafood lover? The rib looked fantastic though, I never knew a seafood place could make such a good rib! Our meal was delicious and was almost finished when I lost my appetite.
My ex-girlfriend decided to raise the stakes by ordering the Fra Diavlo, the one and only menu item that rivaled mine. How dare she try to upstage me by ordering such a meal? I was hoping that her date would think she was a pig for ordering this humongous dish but he seemed to think it was cute when while eating, the linguini whipped her cheeks, leaving small dots of sauce that he could wipe away with a napkin. Oh, now she's into chivalry?
My date had left to use the restroom when I overheard my ex ordering a nutty irish coffee with dessert. I flagged my waiter over and ordered two myself, as well as the apple burst dessert. My ex is allergic to apples so I knew she couldn't try to outdo me again. That was until I saw her Mt. Vesivius cake that she lovingly spoon fed to her new beau.
Apparently I was "zoning out", so my date left before dessert arrived but I thoroughly enjoyed the burst. All in all, I would definitely come back to the Crab, hopefully my ex wont come again, although I overheard her say that she loved the place and would be back soon. The only problem I have with the crab is that they will have to deal with that controlling, obsessive, sneaky and cheating hearted woman in the future.
See all restaurants in Patchogue
